Why I Held Off On a Blog
There is a term known as Comparative Suffering that essentially means that we often hold off on sharing our own trials when we compare our suffering to that of others. I had wanted to share my struggle with a challenging business situation I encountered, but then after I was ready to send it out, Hurricane Helene had caused quite a bit of damage. Somehow it didn’t feel appropriate to share my situation when so many had lost their homes and or were just trying to survive the devastation. However, I feel that it’s also important for us to all remember, that we have events, challenges, family issues, etc., and these circumstances are still real, despite how they compare to others’ suffering.
Powerless
A month ago while training therapists in EMDR, I learned that my email had been hacked. In the busyness of my week, I must have clicked some email that opened the gateway to disaster. The ramifications of this sent me into a tailspin of hours of work trying to get my world back up and running.
I’m not a techy person, and I love it when my apps, programs and all my computer systems just work as expected. Yet when your world gets hacked into, everything stops. The worst part was that almost every company I needed to work with to get this situation fixed, didn’t have humans I could speak to. No, they all had AI bots that I had to communicate with…all while wondering if they were legitimate or the hacker themselves. To say I felt Powerless was an understatement.
When companies will only communicate with you via email, and you keep writing in the AI bot that you want to speak to them in person, because my email was hacked… it is beyond frustrating, and certainly caused significant anxiety.
Container
As I began training, my colleague said “Do you need to put this inside your container so you can train?” I told her I absolutely needed to, and spent the next few moments tapping and grounding myself, placing all the stress and disturbance inside my container.
I teach my clients this tool, and I certainly need to use it myself when life throws me a curveball. Feeling stuck, and unable to get any resolution, absolutely required me to contain all the emotions and center myself to be present with the students I was teaching.
Emails, Passwords and More
When your life gets hacked, you have to essentially secure everything. I had changed emails, secured additional HIPAA compliant email accounts, and even had to change the DNS on the backend of my website. All of this required me to be dependent on many professionals, and to trust people to do their job. Yet my days were full with clients and communicating with professionals on their schedule was definitely a challenge.
To top it all off, my website had to be scanned for malware and other issues. I am so very grateful for my incredible Virtual Assistant Alison who worked with me extensively to meet with all the web host and web security folks. I don’t speak in the tech language, so navigating all these conversations and communicating what I needed wasn’t in my wheelhouse.
Gratitude and Faith
I work hard to live with a positive attitude and make gratitude a daily practice. Yet like many of you, I can be tested when so much negativity rocks my world. I had to work hard to maintain my faith and belief that this was all going to be okay. I had to rebuke the scarcity mindset that wanted to take me down and throw the towel in. Parts of me got in my head with the voice of “go back to corporate America and give up entrepreneurship where it’s safe.” Then the voice of reason reminded me of how far I have come and that the doors didn’t open this far only to let this situation end everything I’ve built.
I surrounded myself with other entrepreneurs who understood my fear and recognized what it’s like to be in the trenches of chaos and keep a business running. All of this was exactly what I needed!
Use Your Tools
We all need tools to calm our nervous system down and help us regulate when awful things occur in our daily lives. This week I used everything in my toolbox for sure. It’s also important to have people in your life who resonate with your struggle, and also encourage you and keep you focused on your why! I can’t be around a lot of people who play safe in their life choices. No, I need to be around people who have been under attack, who have crawled out of adversity, and who choose to believe that despite all the risk and challenges, that building your dream matters.
I choose to fight and I won’t be taken down. I hope you choose to live your life with courage and never give up on your purpose just because the struggle is hard.
Wherever you are, whatever you are going through, however minimal compared to other people, it’s important that you still acknowledge your own struggles and give yourself permission to feel and process them. Your challenges are valid, and by facing them head-on, you’re building resilience. Remember, it’s not about comparing your pain to others; it’s about recognizing your own journey and trusting that you have the strength to overcome it.