Polarized Friends and Family
It’s been a rough week for many people. So much of the country is singing praises of how excited they are about the election results. Yet, many others are living in fear and have begun to isolate themselves in a state of depression about the loss of hope.
It’s a wild time to be living in this polarized country with people living with such strong convictions for their beliefs while others oppose those beliefs for their own very strong values. I found myself trying to just remain neutral and trying to lean into curiosity as the world around me began to feel chaotic.
Crisis Intervention
Last week I spent the majority of my time in my practice helping people work through their big emotions as they began to make sense of their perception of their world after the election results determined Donald Trump as the next president. Some came in extremely elated with the results and how they believed this was what our country needed. Others came in with extreme fear for their safety, their rights, and a sense of deep sadness for what they feel they have lost.
As an EMDR social worker, I spent quite a bit of time using EMDR to desensitize big feelings and help clients find a sense of calm in the chaos of uncertainty.
Here are some nuggets of advice to help everyone lean into kindness and just ensure their mental health is their number one priority.
- Create a Support Network: Surround yourself with friends, family, or communities that share your values or concerns. Having a space to discuss feelings and thoughts can foster a sense of belonging and support.
- Limit Exposure to Stressors: While staying informed is important, consider limiting your exposure to news and social media if it becomes overwhelming. Curate your sources and take breaks as needed.
- Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize activities that help you relax and recharge, such as reading, exercising, meditating, or spending time in nature. Self-care practices can significantly improve your emotional resilience.
- Focus on What You Can Control: Identify actions you can take that align with your values, such as volunteering, advocating for issues you care about, or participating in community discussions. Engaging in positive action can offer a sense of agency.
- Seek Professional Help: If feelings of anxiety or distress become overwhelming, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide tools to navigate complex emotions and foster resilience.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness and grounding techniques can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the future. Simple practices like deep breathing or meditation can be beneficial.
Uncertainty
Uncertainty is scary and so many have been focused on all the fear-mongering and things that have been portrayed by polarized beliefs on both the left and the right. At 51 years of age, I’ve seen many elections, and I’ve voted for both parties on numerous occasions. This was a heated election though. People were invested. I waited 1 hour in line in the cold with many other people who were dedicated to ensuring their vote mattered. Yet the outcome of this election is something we really don’t have any control over.
Yes, there is uncertainty as to how this new plan will be carried out, and what that means for immigrants, inflation, women’s rights, healthcare, and the overall economy, etc. Depending on who you ask, you will get completely different stories about the truth…so no wonder we are all so heated, confused, and unsettled.
All You Have Control Over
The results are in, and at this time, there is nothing we can do to change or impact the results. Despite this, I am truely curious about the emotions, fears and the overall state of unrest that many are in. I have colleagues who are posting ugly things on social media. I have family members and friends, who are spewing hatred and wanting to lay blame on anyone who is in their path. There is judgment on both sides and a very strong inability to come together and collaborate for what could be. So how do we take care of ourselves?
Self-care is the only thing you have control over. You have the power to be kind, and to see people as humans without judgement of their story. Everyone has a story that matters.
If you’ve never taken the time to see and understand a marginalized group and only surround yourself with those who look and believe what you believe, you will likely miss the importance of the upset, and negate the significance of their struggle. Everything isn’t always as simple as the media portrays it. Human suffering is a real thing.
Give Room for Feelings
Allow yourself space to feel, surround yourself around others who see you, and avoid controversial comments online, or in person. We will all somehow get through this transition if we give ourselves permission to feel the feels, and stop accusing others, or making assumptions about their values based on a candidate that they voted for. Opinions are strong, emotions are escalated, and that’s not the time to make big decisions about life, housing, or even the state you will live the rest of your life in.
Breathe, seek nature, seek mindfulness and the activities that bring you joy. Stay off social media platforms and lean into curiosity instead of anger. Learn to listen instead of trying to convince someone of your point of view. We are all just trying to live in this big world and if we lean in and try to understand other’s perspectives we might see more of our similarities rather than only focusing on our differences,
If someone you know is suffering, please refer them to the 988 for mental health support. If you haven’t been into your own therapy in a while, now is a good time for a check-in or tune-up. Whatever you do, pause before speaking, and recognize that other people are struggling even if you feel like you’re winning. Be kind and gentle with others…that’s something you do have control of.