I was listening to Angela Duckwork, the author of the book “Grit” on the April 19th episode of the Dare To Lead podcast with Brené Brown. I had read her book a while ago, but that was back in a time when I was trying hard to build a network marketing business and got lost in what Grit was.
What Is Grit?
Angela defines Grit as passion and perspective for very long periods of time; having stamina; sticking with a future focus day in and day out. At a glance this is the place where we can get stuck believing that if we just worked harder and longer at something…we could produce the fruit.
In her discussion with Brené they focus on the perils of oversimplification of the work that goes into the end result. In our society, we are wired to want the quick, fast formula to change. We want the success, but can also get lost in the process, failures and all the trials experienced within the journey.
Consistency vs. Intensity
I remember being enamored by the young successful professionals in the network marketing company I was a part of who had gone from “poverty to a lifestyle I desired” in what seemed like record time. Sure they professed that it was consistency and a marathon, but they also seemed to have the quick wins with short bursts of intensity that brought the momentum that eventually exponentially changed everything.
I remembered hunkering down, sacrificing a lot, in the hopes of getting where I wanted, on my tenacity and Grit alone! After 5 years of serious Grit with some short lived successes, I found myself no longer passionate about this endeavor, and yet also felt that I had worked too hard to give up now.
Perspective Taking
Perspective taking is the zooming out from the emotional space you are in so you can see others’ perspectives and even evaluate the situation from a different lens. As a therapist, I am trained to help people essentially do 3 things: notice emotion and feelings, sit with it as uncomfortable as that is, and put it in perspective.
You see, when we are engulfed by emotion, we can’t zoom out and see it from a different perspective. We need the help from someone else in order to pull out of the emotion long enough to explore it and get curious.
Angela states that Grit is part resilience and also feeling like what you’re doing is aligned with your core values.
Hence the struggle I had with building a network marketing business. It wasn’t in alignment with who I was.
Knowing When To Pivot
For many of us, we need to practice the art of perspective taking in order to see the larger picture. For me, the Grit of this season in life was a preparation phase for something much more in alignment with my values.
I was an entrepreneur and could align with that very well. I also wanted to make an impact and wanted to bring positive change to others. It was the vehicle I was using that wasn’t in alignment with my authentic self.
When I combined Grit with my true passion and walked into a different hard thing i.e. building a private practice and walking away from corporate america…well I finally got to witness the fruit of my labor.