Recently Brené Brown and her 2 sisters did a series on their journey to wholehearted living on the Unlocking Us Podcast. It has inspired many people, including myself, to go back and take the Whole Hearted Inventory on BrenéBrown.com again. As someone who has worked hard at some of these areas, I learned so much about my growth as well as areas I still want to work to improve on.
In this blog I will look at the first 2 guideposts identified in The Gifts of Imperfection as well as share my own recent inventory findings on these 2 guideposts.
Guidepost #1
Letting Go of What Other People think and Cultivating Authenticity
I’m not gonna lie…this one has been something I have to consciously pay attention to and work at on a regular basis. I have come a long way from the days of really fearing what people thought of me, and worrying about whether I could lean into my authentic self.
Today I feel I am working hard to just be me and live as authentically as I can, but despite how far I’ve come, I scored about 50% on this scale, meaning that I haven’t arrived and will need to continue to work in this area to show up and be seen in my entirety.
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené defines Authenticity as follows:
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be, and embracing who we actually are.”
Guidepost #2
Perfectionism vs. Self Compassion
I was surprised by my 50% score of being locked dead in the center of this one. Several years ago the scale would certainly have been tipped toward perfectionism and a much louder critic between my ears.
Today, I still hear the critic, and it’s usually when I’m fighting my productivity or “shoulds” with a more caring voice that gives me permission to check in with my body and be kind. Sometimes this shows up with body image and or lack of compassion for an ever changing body during menopause.
I still have to fight the voice at times in order to allow for more self compassion to recognize that I also need rest, and even more Yin verses Yang in my exercise regiment.
In previous blogs we’ve talked about Kristin Neff’s Self Compassion which includes Self Kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness.
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené states
“Perfectionism, on the other hand, does the opposite. It encourages you to be mean to yourself, disconnect you from others, and resist feeling what you’re actually feeling. It ignores the constraints of reality and drags you down with it.”
If you are interested in my upcoming October one-day workshop on The Gifts of Imperfection please click here for more information and to register.